Must A Wannabe Influencer Pal Cease Using People for Content?

The Prosecution: Beth

At times she films me while having a meal. It's jarring to spot myself on her Instagram – it’s like a jumpscare.

A close companion of a decade, Marielle, labels herself the “content queen”. It’s fun for a bit, but it weighs on our friendship.

She is an extrovert, she feels the need to document everything constantly. When we eat out, she says, “The phone eats first,” and takes photos with bright lighting, which makes me cringe. I don’t like it when strangers see her performing for the camera – I get vicarious awkwardness. It also frustrates me because the food gets cold.

She's not quite an online personality yet, but Marielle is trying to be. She makes vlogs about city life, a day in her life, and her styling career. The material is quality, I’ll give her that, but I don’t want to be involved. Sometimes I'm captured while dining, or simply tagging along. Later, I appear on her Instagram later, and it comes like a surprise: I’ll have bare-faced, making a strange expression or be captured mid-bite. It feels invasive.

Marielle also expects me to film her at inconvenient times. Often I’ll be talking to someone else, or we're simply spending time in the street. I feel like our friendship has transformed into me being her free crew. She has the means to hire someone if she wanted high-quality content. When I brought up my discomfort about this arrangement, she brushed it off. She’s taken me to a couple of brand events, which was nice, but that doesn't compensate for all the time and effort I invest assisting her make content.

I’m grateful that Marielle has helped me with my career in design, but I don’t want our connection to become just a ledger of favours. I don't believe she's insincere or dishonest, but sometimes I feel that if the camera is out, we will start performing in a way that presents a favorable image for her channel.

She will say, “Alright, smile for the camera!” and film me smiling with another. It feels forced. I need her to understand that our 10-year friendship still has boundaries. I love spending time with her, but I also desire to experience it without being recorded, altered, or posted for an viewers. I am not a prop for her online persona.

The Defence: The Content Creator's View

I hope Beth to see that the creations we make together can get us a foot in the door.

I love creating videos. It’s not just a pastime; it's integral to who I am. Producing content and documenting experiences online allows me to express myself and engage with people in new ways.

I wouldn't label myself as a professional creator yet, but it's savvy to generate income from your interests. I admire people on social platforms who pull off that style of informal, self-made film-making.

Content creation is my version of engaging with life: noticing the nuances, posting them with an viewership that appreciates the art behind it. I never intend to make Beth uneasy. Taking her to professional gatherings was my method of offering access, giving her a opportunity to experience behind-the-scenes moments that could help her career in design too. That isn't blackmail, it’s just being pragmatic.

I would take her to these events even if she refused to assist me, but I desire her to see what the content we make together can achieve: a foot in the door. I understand not everyone likes being on camera, but sometimes unplanned moments is what makes material genuine. Being recorded from time to time is part and parcel of being my friend. I would delete anything she asked, but she has never asked yet.

I don't demand anyone to be my personal filmmaker, but companions help each other in minor capacities. My assumption was recording a clip now and then would be fun for her. Innovation flourishes in collaboration, and having Beth around makes endeavors lively and enjoyable. I don't compel her to take part in anything, and I’d never deliberately embarrass her. But filming together sometimes is part of how I record our shared experiences.

I value Beth’s friendship deeply and want to avoid content creation to drive a wedge between us. I am ready to compromise: like requesting permission before filming, and steering clear of angles that might make her uncomfortable.

This is not about power, it’s about sharing my world while still respecting hers. Clearly making content is not a replacement for real connection: it’s just part of how I live my life and I desire her to be involved in a way that’s agreeable for each of us.

Outside Perspectives: Reader Opinions

Should Marielle stop filming herself and Beth when they are out together?

There’s nothing more excruciating than having a companion point a camera at you. I get that it’s Marielle’s job, but I wouldn't ask friends come to my workplace. Maybe she can find like-minded creators to create content with. Given the uncertain future of AI, human connections are the only thing we have – don’t waste them!
A respondent, 25

When pursuing something as a career, you can’t ask your friends for help repeatedly, even if they have helped previously. If Marielle loves shooting, that doesn’t mean all those around her is willing material. She needs to respect her friend's personal space.
Ankit, 26

She may enjoy making content and showing off her life publicly, but it’s not for everyone. It’s nice she has assisted Beth’s career, but she needs to listen to what Beth wants.
A commenter, 27

It sounds like you value each other, so cling to that and make sure it’s the focus in your friendship. Foster some real experiences, where genuine feelings are preserved, not digital scrapbooks. In fact, public figures who seem to reveal their worlds actually have more privacy than it appears.
One opinion, 53

She seems to be neither present nor authentic when they're together – she's on the job. Both seem unsure as to where the line is. The solution lies not in trying to change one another, but in each establishing defined limits around what is comfortable to them and determining if there is an mutually agreeable middle ground.
Barbara, 71

Now You Be the Judge

In an online poll: has she been over-exposing their bond?